Apathy

I haven't been playing much since the Irish Open. I played on Monday, then didn't play until Saturday as I didn't feel like it and not played since. That really has been the story since I finished the Unibet bonus at the start of March. I am not sure what's happening but it just feels like I have lost some of the passion to play. I have even noticed in last few weeks that I am reading poker forums less and less, example I logged on to 2+2 and start reading a really interesting thread on MSNL about a hand played between a poster and Taylor Caby from Cardrunners. I got 9 replies in out of 160 odd and just stopped reading as I didn't care. It's the same on boards, I am reading HH less and less. I am more interested in an online game I have been playing the last few weeks and reading up on that.

As for why this is happening, it's hard to say. I think it maybe an number of reasons. 1) I have not been getting much exercise and this eats into all aspects of life but I think the lack of exercise has meant I lost some energy. The previous 4 years while I wasn't exactly working out but I was walking to and from my house to DCU twice a day 4-5 times a week. That is an hours walk total and it certainly didn't do me any harm. Now with that gone and my lack of sporting activity means I am less motivated and my days are less structured which results in me being apathetic and lazy. Reason 2) is my general playing area. I play on my laptop sitting on my bed. This is bad for numerous reasons. For one my laptop is small and limits how many tables I can fit on screen limiting my number of hands. It also means I have to use touchpad and no mouse which is annoying and means I can't use a lot of scripts such as bet pot script etc. Another bad point is it's just not good posture and I do believe your posture and general playing area is important. As for why I don't just buy a table with desktop, well there is simply no space to put it. If I could I would have already bought it.
Reason 3) maybe I have just lost interest in general and I have come as far as I want to in poker. I don't want this to be true. I feel there is a lot for me to achieve but maybe I just don't want to do it or least put required effort in to achieve it.

So the question is how do I go about rectifying this if I want to. I think it's going to require a fairly big life change on my part which encompasses more then just poker. I need to start doing sport of some sort. I used to play squash, tennis, GAA, football back in the day and picking 1 or more of those back up would really help in lots of ways. It would keep me fit, give me an competitive outlet other then poker which I can look forward to and give more structure to my day/week. I also need to work on other interests and have generally more plans and things to do. I think ironically giving less time to poker which help me as it will make more focused when I do concentrate on it.

All of this is of course easy to say here, doing it is a whole different kettle of fish but I really feel like I have to. I am entering a crossroads now, I (hopefully) will finish off college next month when I do my final 2 exams. Assuming I pass then my fall back for the last 5 years which has helped justify me not comitting to anything and staying at home disappears and I am left facing the rather scary question of what I want to do with my life. So changes are going to happen irresepective and I think poker can be a part of it and a big part if I really want it to be. It's just a matter of how much.