Finally

It's been long overdue but I have ran like Usain Bolt over the last week. Every pair hitting a set, coolering everyone in site and so. I started off the week still in a hole for the month, now I am well out of it. It's the first time I have ran really well at 400nl which is nice so no complaining about running bad from me for a while.
I can't expect to keep that up but hopefully I can play well and close out the month well.

Hud tilt

I watched a 2 part series on leggopoker from Student Caine who finished third in 1 year birthday celebration competition. His videos were about how the brain works and why we have rather irrational emotional responses at the tables. It was an interesting video and I'd recommend watching it (on the link below)
http://www.leggopoker.com/videos/training/313/

It also got me thinking to my irrational responses and I think I have identified an mental leak I have which I am calling hud tilt. It comes in 2 forms.

The first and simpler form is from when my stats are nitty. So like if I find myself 9/8 after 50 hands I will feel the absolute need to get my stats up to some normality and a lot of the time end up monkey raising. I think this goes back to my fundamental fear of my own nittyness. When I first started playing I was really nitty and at heart that is what I am. As I read more I increased my aggression but I have to force it all the time. If you ever read 2+2 you see how nits are treated with almost derision. There is almost a peer pressure aspect to being aggressive which I partly subscribed to even when I shouldn't.

The second form is from my opponents. For example, if someone fires a turn continuation bet on a good card such as an Ace or King and I note they have high turn cbet stats this can on occasion really set me off. It will cause me to make retardo raises even when my line makes no sense. I will do it because I've forgotten my line and literally just looking at that red number(I colour code my hud so red numbers = good/aggressive stats) I literally just stop thinking straight. I think this has cost me especially at 400nl.

When I watch the really top nosebleed players like CTS, Aejones, FWF and so on something that strikes me about them in their videos is how calm and clear their commentary and thought processes are. They always have a plan and know what to do in x,y and z situations. Aggression doesn't affect them at all. I think that is pretty telling. it's also noticeable how they don't use huds as much and rely on gameflow much more. This is something I am deficient in and I think if I want to make the jump up is something that I think I need to address

Uninspired

I am feeling a bit down about poker at the moment. Ever since I had my prolonged break in August and September I have never felt fantastic about my game. I feel like I am always trying to get back even. When I started back in late September I took a huge dip early and took 6 weeks to get back even and just when I did I take another dip and so on. This has been the story of the last 4 months.

In the same period in 07 I ran soooo good. I just couldn't lose and it was how I initially got my roll for 200nl. I have improved a hell of a lot but can't seem to regain that feeling of invincibility that I felt during that period. I am constantly questioning and second guessing myself.

The same problems have cropped this month. I started of the month bad again and trying to claw it back, I also haven't played anywhere near as many hands as I like mainly due to not starting play to the 9th. Of course point 1 is I am being too results orientated. I can go weeks without actually looking at how I am doing but I always tend to have a good sense for it. I try to forget about it and think ahead and think in the long term but it's hard to do, least for me.

I think I will look into getting a coach. It would be good to have someone to have an overview of things and be able to tell me what is good and what isn't cause at times I feel like I have no idea. I also could do with some fresh ideas about how to approach things better, playing more hands, mentally preparing myself and so on. Everything I have done I have done on my own through reading forums, watching videos and so on. Maybe the fresh prospective would help me out. I need something anyway.

In more positive news. Lost is back this week. It's like Christmas day came early(or late) I am pretty excited by its return. Bring on thursday!

The year that was: 2008

2008 was a very mixed year in so many respects. From a poker perspective I would call it average to somewhat disappointing. From a larger "life" perspective I wouldn't have any idea how to class it. It's such an odd mix of nothingness and yet so much happened but this is a poker blog so I will concentrate mainly on that.

http://www.redbrick.dcu.ie/~cooker3/400nl08.jpg

The main headline of 2008 is my inability to beat 400nl(graph is above). The simple fact is I am a fairly big loser at 400nl. It's not a huge sample (20k hands) but the fact is if I had the same bb/100 but in the positive over that sample I'd be delighted and think I am the greatest that ever lived. I have been trying to pinpoint what is happening and there is definitely some spewy stuff in there. 5betting, raising all in over cbets with not much and such like. I don't think it accounts for everything or even a big amount of it.

So either I am running bad or I am just being outclassed and I amn't good enough to recognise it. There is evidence to support the former but there is always a danger of a confirmation bias effect. Fgators being the best exponent of that mindset. Although having JJ, QQ, AKs, KQ, 33, ATs in the top 15 biggest losing hands seems somewhat unlucky. If it's the latter then I am never going to realise it unless I get better or just keep losing and eventually realise that sample size is just too big to use variance as a legitimate excuse. I am still going to plug away. The great thing is 2009 is a blank canvas and I am break even from this point. I should have a pretty good idea where I stand at the end of the year. I honestly feel I can be a comfortable winner at the stakes this year.

As for 200nl, I started there, I primarily finished there which is not exactly inspiring. My winrate there is reasonable without being spectacular. It's hard to get an exact figure as I think I am missing some hands and HM doesn't take currency stuff into account but including rb I estimate I made over $20k.

Finally there are my rare live outings. That went pretty well. I can think of 5 tournaments I played, got 2nd in student Jackpot tournament in January out of around 40, got nowhere in an SE tournament. I finished 8th out of 120 roughly in DCU inter varsity tournament. I came 160 something in IPO and split the LEPO. I can't argue with those results. I think I am running hot a little bit overall.

From a non results perspective. I think I am a far far better player then I was this day last year. In fact it's not even close. I hope to be able to say that again next year. There is so so much I need to improve on. It's actually pretty daunting to realise how little I actually know but there is a certain comfort element to it. I mean if I felt I was as good as I could get then that wouldn't say much considering how low a stakes I am playing comparatively speaking.

For 2009, I first and foremost want to beat 400nl. From this goal all other plans and ideas come from it. If it comes to pass it establishes a base amount of money which I would be happy with, it's also a high enough level that I feel suggests I have what it takes to be good at this.

If I beat 400nl I want to extend my range of games. I would like to learn either or maybe both HU cash and Omaha. There is the obvious logic the more games I can play the better my game selection can be. It also could give me something different to concentrate on when I am running bad, bored with 6 max Holdem or whatever.

I also plan to play more live tournaments and more sats to tournaments. I did well live in 2008 and there is no reason not to continue on. I doubt I will play many outside Dublin as I don't like the extra costs like getting hotel rooms, being stuck there for a few days after being knocked out, playing side events and so on. It potentially could turn into a very costly weekend. When I get knocked out of a tournament I just want to leave and go home. So I am thinking of JP's tournaments especially the one in May and obviously the IO if Leprechaun come through. In terms of satelites, I just want to excuse to go abroad basically. What I said above does not apply when your in the Caribbean or Australia and so on. If I get knocked out I can just explore those places. In all due respect to Galway or Killarney there is a bit less to explore.

Underpinning my goals for poker is a change of lifestyle. I am not selfish enough to not realise I am very lucky to have what I have and I recognise I am better off then the majority of people currently alive but I need to do more. I need a change of lifestyle. My life is too centred towards poker. I need to get fitter, get more exercise. This will help me be a better poker player. It would be pretty handy if I knew what to do with myself from a long term pov but I am not going to hold my breathe on that one. I also want to travel, not decided where but somewhere!

If I get all this. I'd consider it a pretty good year :)